sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
