is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
