I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
