Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
