I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
