i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
