try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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