i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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