Redeem this text for a blowjob
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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