4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Your face is a jimmy john
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
