I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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