Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
