His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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