sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
