whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
