that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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