she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
