she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Randomize
