you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
