My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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