Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
