I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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