Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Are my feet made of real feet?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
