Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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