Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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