There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
only if we run a train.
done.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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