my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
