All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
