So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
