Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
