You work out of a Hotel?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
