Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
