I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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