Come see our sink grown plant.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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