"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
