i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
