So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
