Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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