He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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