I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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