he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
