Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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