that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
