I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
