$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
