I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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