Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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