I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Randomize
