whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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