mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
im holly from the hills drunk
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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